Then came my new love affair. Far more experienced than I will ever be but the common goals and interests are far too many to even mention in this little comment box. Generally, he wants a tender, loving woman and I want a smart, gentle man. The idea of stability and security is indeed incredibly appealing to me as I believe the best of my years are better spent in intellectual endeavours or boosting my career or helping my family.
I do not feel financially insecure or unstable. I am referring to stability and security relationship wise.
I do not want to spend my 20s playing dating games, having casual sex or being in relationships with no goals. I want to be a Clinical Psychologist by 26 and a Doctorate by 30s. I do not want to follow the norm of settling down only when you are too old. I want to be enjoying the fruits of my labor with the one I love in my 30s or 40s. The reasons in here have very little meaning to me except for the part about my father. I think of my dad as the best man in the bunch. I think of my parents' marriage as the ideal standard. They never shouted or hurt each other and loved each other til death did my father part.
They are my rolemodels. Age is an incredibly important factor for me because I find the appeal of intelligence, wisdom, experience and maturity attractive. This is the basis of my attraction, not socioeconomic, psychological or physiological standards. I hope I made my point and myself clear. I am, however, rare. That much I know so I understand being often unrepresented. Don't know where to put my finger, but I'm crazy in love with the middle-aged man. I'm started to doubt myself whether there is something wrong with me neurologically.
I did date guys my age 30ish ; unfortunately, we didn't click. However, I'm pretty sure I'm genuine with this man I'm crazy about. I don't need him financially. I feel good around him. But, the sad truth, I'm scared that I may be get hurt someday. My feelings, for the first time, have been in the rollercoaster whether I take him seriously for a commitment if he will propose for it. Time will tell what's waiting for both of us, but I won't force a serious relationship.
And I'm also not seeing someone else but him. I am 26 now, I am dating a man 12 years older then me. We get along fine, we both dont have kids. The only problem I am having is the lack of support. I will do and go anywhere with him as long as hes happy. I enjoy spending time with him and being involved with all of his hobbies. However I feel when I ask him to do somthing with me, somthing I want to do, somthing always seems to come up where he can't or wont go. The things I want to do are like work on my car or something of that nature.
If its a outing I invite him out to, I usually find myself alone. I am starting to figure this isn't so much of a age gap but a habbit. That partner in crime I thought he was is starting to seem lacking. I'm 34 yrs and my man is 64 yrs the age gap is I have 2 kids outside before I met him and he's got 1 child. He's a very busy man every time when he gets home he's tired which I do understand. He took me to school bought me a car.
He makes me feel comfortable in my stretch marks my wrinkled tummy. Hes understanding we've got good communication. OMG he's so amazing. We have great Sex. I tell you there's a huge difference in dating younger boys and older man. With older man it's so sweet no complications. I'm 27 years old my son's dad is 46 yrs old i met him when i was 22 yrs old.
He told me he was divorce with 2 kids he was living alone the kids used to come once in the while. There's a married woman who used to take care of the kids and he said that woman was his best friend after 2 years i discovered that he was sleeping with the woman for the past 8 yrs and that woman was playing the role of a sister in law cooking sometimes for us i saw her naked pictures ob his phone and other pictures of her lying on our bed when i traveled out to Egypt.
It breaks my heart into pieces before that I've tried to get married twice but each time we're planning for that something must happened. I love kisses but he doesn't kiss and i never cheated on him for that at times goes i stop loving him each time i see him he's disgusting me. I couldn't tell him i don't love him anymore because he was taking care of my needs and wanted to sponsor my musical career above that i didnt want my son to grow up like me without a father.
I rejected lot of marriage proposal just because i thought no man can't love my son like his father. I moved to South Africa 2 years ago and i left him in UK we've been living separate for the past 2 years he came 2 times a year. Last time he came i couldn't pretend anymore i told him i don't love him anymore and I'm not interested in any marriage with him he treathen to block my passport, to harm me , etc My family started pressuring me that i should forgive and let go for my future is guaranty with him he promised to do anything if i accept him back.
I don't love him anymore and i can't marry for money i definitely know that i won't be satisfied sexually and i would be having sex out but i don't want that kind of marriage I'm also thinking about my son because he needs medical attention everytime he's an albino. What should I do? There's someone 9 years older than me single who has been there for the past 4 months he wants to settle and want me to have kids before doing the music.
I'm confused please help me. I am a 33 year old female who has been with a man 18 years my senior for over 10 years. We have been married for 8 years out of the I will say there are a lot of hurdles when it comes to age gap relationships and him and I have been through some questionable times but we love each other very much and talk about everything.
There is nothing we won't do for each other. He was married before, thankfully with. We now have two healthy children together and he is an amazing father at his age. Does more than I see most fathers do at younger ages. Maybe we are a lucky couple but we are proof that age gaps can work. As far as health issues.. I have had more than him, so him being older isnt a sure fine way he will have more. Anyway, we live happily together with our family, and enjoying our life. If you love each other, that's all that matters. My first husband was 15 years older than I, I remarried four years after he died, my husband now is 20 years older.
We are much in love, and celebrate each month together! Yes, it can work. Ladies any relation and for whatever reason is great as long both parties are clear of their reasons behind their actions. Older women will always hate May-December relationships because the older women thinks that she can no longer compete against a younger women.
On the other side you ladies are only seen one side of the equation, your side! How about seen both sides of the equation, men's needs and wants? Lets also review one of my favorites passages of the Bible, 1Kings 1: Personally I see the female question and fear to a younger female because of the monogamy model that forces men to abandon a woman to have another. I will never trade my 50 years old wife, her wisdom, her love real , her company our cinversation are priceless. However, I also would love to have a younger women too and she knows it and understands me.
No the question is, if I can afford it, why I cannot have another younger women in my life and share my life openly and in agreement between the parties involve? Please lets explore this landscape! I dated a man 16 years older than me. He got sacked from his job. So much for financial security. I dated another man 12 years older than me. Within 3 months he got a terminal cancer diagnosis.
He died last year. If you re after his money for social acceptance. He's probably after a younger women to show off to his friends. I agree Donna, and those are some of the considerations to keep in mind while getting into a relationship with an older man. I am not saying that these things can not be overcome though. To each their own. Marrying a man 10 years or older may cause issues. His friends may be his age and a women may not have as much in common as someone her own age.
He may not have the strength or energy to travel the world with a women, go out dancing. His interests may be a lot different. Please live your life. The truth is that everyone's romantic partner is their choice. Stop listening to society and follow your heart. It's no one else's business what the two of you decide. That being said, obviously the man should be single. Honestly, that's just common sense though. I'm fallen for a man that is 21 years older than me.
I'm 43 he's He's so sexy though and still full of energy. I regret big time even I live with him till now for the sake of my young son. TBO, what is your problem? In her world you are the Alpha Man. However, marriage and kids so fast? Whether she is a virgin or not is not an issue. The issue at hand is trust!
What really worries me is that she is 17, a teenager that changes her wants, ideals and ideas every 5 minutes. For her, what is the meaning of love? Today she loves you, tommorrow she will be in love with Justin Beaver or with the new Policeman in town. You are looking for trouble! I have feelings for this older guy When I'm around him Most of the things in this article is true But, I think relationships are personal and therefore subjective. I have been with my guy for 14 yrs. We just clicked from the get go.
All the things you listed here are subjective. I wanted to have children. But its not imperative to have biological children. Adoption is an option if I decide to go ahead with it.
The Perks—and Challenges—of Dating a Much Older Man
At first, I did fall prey to most of the negative reasons you cited in your blog and decided to try dating younger guys. They were a bust. Nothing compared to my relationship with my older mature guy. I would rather have a short but truly fulfilling marriage with my older guy than marry a younger man who may make my life miserable in the short future.
A high Quality of Life is based on less superficial things. Suzzana, whatever you think is also inconsequential! It is just a mere personal opinion without any sociological or scientific fact! My comnent is based on series of books written by scientist that are well respected on the academia and based on actual research.
My other source that I did mentioned comes from the Bible. If you do not agree with science and research nor me or any other educated person cannot have a civilized conversation about this topic! After reading many of the comments here, I see that many young women have married ridiculously older men. Whatever reasons led to this, my heart goes out to them; once they have evolved and their psychological issues have passed, there could be many problems and regrets.
I don't think its normal for a woman to want a man more than 10 years older, at the most. I also think that once society deems it more acceptable, women will start to admit that younger men are very appealing. Sexually, youth is appealing to everyone - including women. I had older-man fantasies in my youth because I had issues with my own father. When I tried it, I was quite turned off, sad to say. Unless the older man looks like James Bond, it is not too appealing for a woman.
I personally have never been attracted to anyone more than 6 years my senior. Maybe, had I been dirt poor, I would have forced myself to marry a much older man but since I did not have to, I did not. This article is rubbish! Woman by nature is attracted to older men. By nature woman is hypergamous, tend to marry upward, and monogamous. While men by nature tends to be hypogamous, marries downward, and polygamous. Since women and society tend to force monogamy there is the tendency of serial monogamy.
Serial monogamy usually goes hand in hand with something called menopause, in which women tend to lose interest in sex and men tend to look for another women and there comes the divorce. Marrying a younger women in a worst case scenario it can end up during sex by the young women giving the man a heart attack, and that, is dying happy! I date women 20 years younger than me because ive kept myself well. One of the main reasons is men my age know how to be a man.
Younger men struggle with this today. They dont take charge, they ask too many questions, they arent humble, and in lots of cases they arent tough. The list goes on and on. Its not about money. No man wants to date a woman that wants him for his money. The attraction is his hustle and drive. The woman i date now is great.
Shes funny, cool, and is interesting. Shes not some 22 year old club chick.
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Been with my husband for 13 years we are 29 years apart he still grade in bed he's 64 years old great sex Great Adventures we love each other for a compatible that's all there is to it God has blessed our marriage also and again sex is great! Somehow I've fallen in love with my 54 yo neighbor I will say he is awesome in bed, very mentally, physically and emotionally attentive to my children and I.
Hello, I am 28 and my husband We have been together for almost 4 years so far. We have a son. He was single when we met, simply he hadn't found a soulmate. When we met he was unemployed because the factory where he had worked for 10 years had closed. So I find offensive pretending that all women dating older men do it for money. I found him sweeter and more reliable, that's all. By time he started to work again. With the son he has far more energy than me, this is a thing that surprised me very much: A man in his 40s is still strong and pretty young but at the same time not immature and superficial like younger men.
I think that men in their 40s are better marriage-material, and not just for money, oh no! That's the last why. Just look at how younger people are: I am tired of everyone thinking if you are only with an older man for money. I am stl supportive. He has a farm he loves and I have a house in town. His farm is left to his daughters so I will be in my house when he passes. I love him more than the men I have dated who were younger.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man | PairedLife
He is a widower who never went out on his wife. Many older men have better morals than younger men who are lying womanizer not all but many. My man is the sweetest man I know and I totally trust him.. Wow i just wanted to scream when i was reading all the disses this person was saying about older men.
Older men are so awesome most of them anyway there are your few that are not still as grown up but they have so much knowledge and so do older women. My choice has always been a oh he is much to old for you Man Older men and younger women can connect way better than same age couples. They know exactly what the other one needs emotionally. When you have your younger man still trying to prove himself in life the wives get neglected a lot in her emotional needs she is ready for that way earlier in life so being with her more established man he is definitely ready to love her like the crazy passion that she needs and deserves in life.
She doesn't have to wait years for that attention she usually is so craving and then have that same age man get tired of her. Like a lot of men do being married to a woman closer in age. I just know it works out that way a lot. I always prefer a big age gap like this person just sat there and shot down!
That's my peace today. I'm not have an affair I'm married to an older man. We had a 2 year old daughter together. She is strong, smart, and beautiful. Older men can produce amazing children. This article is dumb. I met a year-old when I was He was able to provide financial security and a certain lifestyle. We broke up as friends 3 years later because he was settling down and I wanted to keep exploring, being social and crazy etc. I soon met a locally known man and we are now together — I 29, he Though he is much older than my husband and poor as dirt, he is more energetic, virile and strong.
More even than myself! We are more suited to each other. I think the above article shows limited understanding of age-gap relationships, though overall it's fairly truthful, just shallow. I love men for who they are but do acknowledge I simply feel more attracted to older men. It's simply a physical thing — I like the rugged skin, crow's feet and silver hair. I believe that can be true the other way around as well. We don't have daddy or daughter issues and people who care can see we are equals. Another thing that's worth mentioning is that most people don't consider that it's not easy to emotionally satisfy an older man.
Most people will say "She's getting off easy because he must just be crazy about her and never complain. It's much more a challenge for the woman than people think but I believe worth it, for me at least. I am 19 years Old Currently talking to a 29yr old. We Have A great Connection. We talk all The Time He supports me and he's here for me when I need him to be. He has a sense Of Humor Like me. I am 28 with a 63 year old who treats me very amazing met him after my husband died , very very good sex ,he also is very caring because he ensure that I have everything,give me financial advice so I can have my own business like him..
And I love him for these little things. I am 35 and married to a 60 year old.
The Perks—and Challenges—of Dating a Much Older Man
We have 3 beautiful girls together ages 15, 11 and 5. However, I find these days he is not interested in sex, love making etc. I am starting to become frustrated, angry and resentful. Becsuse I don't want to hurt him I find myself masterbating but I am generally unsatisfied. He is a great provider, father etc. I'm having a guy which is 49 and I'm We met through online apps and he told me he have three kids grown up.
Well I like him at first and started to get to know him well by checking his Facebook and Instagram. After a week plus, I found out he talk to another girl which he want a long term relationship with younger girls but he don't want to involve any kids if I'm pregnant or not. He doesn't want kids anymore as he have three kids. Does that mean he just want someone who is going to be together just partner and not lifetime partner. Hi Wendy, it sounds like he is not able to trust you, which is weird because you guys have been dating for about six months now, and he wants you to move in with him.
It is likely that he is married with wife and a son, and doesn't want his wife to find out. You should do your own investigation and find out more about the man you intend to move in with. I am a 33 years old woman blessed with a wonderful career. Life had been blissful so far though I did face a lot of challenges including a failed long distance relationship with a man I wanted to spend my entire life with. He was two years younger to me, not matured and was not ready to have bigger commitments. Leaving him was indeed the most painful decision I had to take.
Now, almost after 6 years, I met this man, who's Honestly, he's the sweetest person I've ever come across in my life. He's such a caring, humble, loving, affectionate, and above all treats a woman rightly with much respect. Yes, he's married with three beautiful grown ups but unfortunately is neglected by his wife who doesn't seem to be bothered about his emotional needs anymore. He's very honest to me and have always mentioned about his love for the family although they don't appreciate him.
I adore him so much. Although I do feel guilty for loving him, I can't help myself as the saying goes; Love is totally Blind.. I wonder why did we even meet and share a lot of common things together. Should I proceed or forget.. I am almost 26 and my boyfriend is There are no issues so far. We love spending time together.. Even if it's doing nothing but napping together. We cook for Each other. For me, it's not about daddy issues or finances. I have always been attracted to older men. I believe I am capable of having a loving relationship with someone who is older. Ridicule has been an issue.
Usually by people who dont know us. For those peoe who we consider friends do not care and are happy for us. I married a man 17 years older than I. When we married I was It was his my first marriage his second.
I loved the man I married and we were very happy BUT, the last 5 years have been very difficult. I was warned by my mom about marrying an older man. I only thought about the present. Now, 19 years into our marriage, I'm in the thrawls on menopause and my husband is not as active as he once was. He blames any discourse on my menopause and that I'm not the woman he feel in love with. The bottom line is we all change but if we do it together we have a better chance.
My husband cant turn the clock back and I'm to young to be old. I Am 30 years and my husband is 61 I don't have sex with him anymore because he can't do it any more he is sick and I Am in married and I never cheat on him he give me hard time argue control to much abuse I want to divorce but am afride because am a forigne. I am 45 and my husband is 68 years old but we have the best relationship. He loves mes madly and always want to make me happy in every way.
He cares for me as a dad. I love him for who he is. He is divorced with 3 kids, financial stability has been up and down. We both have the same income and at times I have had to pick up the bills when he could not work. I love him because he makes me feel good about my self, he lifts me up and makes me smile, and I do the same for him.
I don't see an age difference until someone refers to him as my dad. I married someone 15 years younger than me. Because I had no children from my first marriage, I felt that I would not have the challenges others do. I think I'm correct. I can take care of her well, and we're both able to settle down and have a family. I'm seeing a man that's 39 years older then me, I am 19, we haven't done anything sexual yet and he has told me he really doesn't want to do anything sexual with me he just loves my company and enjoys the time we spend together We just hang out and have fun and go out on dates and talk about a bunch of random things, stories from the past ect.
He tells me I make him really happy and he also does the same for me I know this may sound terrible to people who don't think this kind of life style is appropriate but don't knock it till you try it I guess haha In life you have to take chances or you'll miss out on a lot!! Even the most negative medical study doesn't come close to using the word "usually".
Lol the poll wording is so biased - why does it ask if you'd have an AFFAIR with an older man, instead of whether you'd get into a relationship with one? The irony is I actually found him more immature than the guy I am currently dating 4 years my senior. I think this article leaves out one important point; if an older man is interested in a woman much younger, surely that says something about his OWN maturity levels? What makes him reject women his own age? Is it really something so superficial as they don't look as hot anymore, or is it something deeper?
Is he unable to keep up with the smart, self-assured mind of a more mature woman, for example? I didn't realise it at the time but, in some ways my ex seemed to enjoy being the one 'in control', by dating a much younger woman. I'm not saying this is always the case but, it's important to look at the other factors in his life to accurately gauge if he is actually an older MAN. Of course we all fall into rough patches in life that can affect these perceptions whether that be redundancy, repossession or divorce , but the important thing is to look at his maturity timeline as a whole.
Does it mirror yours a woman much younger than him , or does it go beyond what you've already learnt from life? I am a Mistress for 9 years with an older man. We see each other everyday and share everything. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I knew up front that he has a family and they take a priority.
He treats me with kindness and is very generous. I see us being together till death. You have articulated your situation well. I wish both of you the very best, and look forward to further updates from you. As you say, let's watch this space: I do find many points in this article to be true. For 7 years I have been with someone 13 years my senior. We have 1 child together, who we adore more than anything but he wants no more cause of his age. He is only I am devastated since I am so young and have so more life still in me. I will Tell my son to never get involved with a younger women no matter how tempting.
My new partner Lilt just posted the above message about us, which came as a positive surprise to me. This motivated me to write a few lines on this site as well. Yes, she is indeed 22 years younger than me, and could be my daughter. On paper, we have very little in common. This is certainly a bit scary for both of us. We have received rather mixed comments from family members and friends. Most of them are a bit concerned. My oldest daughter 17 years of age had already a chat with my new partner. She was surprisingly positive and happy for her dad.
After having spent up to five hours per day on Skype together, I have to admit that I cannot wait to meet her in Johannesburg in three days. She has certainly swept me off my feet. I am so much looking forward to talking to her in person. Please let me clarify that this is not just about sex from either side. I am fully aware of my responsibility as the older person in the relationship, and I know how it may look for bystanders. Therefore, I will make sure that she is feeling comfortable with whatever happens between us in the future.
I have not searched actively for a young person. Previous partners were around the same age usually two years older than me. I have no intention to be a father figure, sugar daddy or a ticket to a potentially better life somewhere else. Finally, I am also not after a nurse or carer. We will decide together within about ten days how to move matters forward. I hope that we discover sufficient ground for a happy and long-lasting relationship as equal partners. In any case, I am sure that there is already sufficient potential for a life-long friendship.
Exactly over a month ago today, i met an older man online. He's 22yrs older than me but hey I'm not counting. He's the most genuine person I know, honest in all his ways and loves talking to me and making me feel special. He's coming all the way to Africa, i mean that's enough commitment. Yes there's hurdles along our path but we know exactly how we feel about each other. He can still have a family and between us money is no factor and NO I don't need another daddy.
After no luck with young men he was a real welcome change. And i am willing to make it work completely. I was incredibly lucky to be introduced to a man..
Later he did fessed up to doing some reconnaissance to check me out. It has been a wonderful journey, we're both blown away by our similarities in values, family experiences and how we connect; emotionally and intimately,. We have the most enjoyable and fulfilling relationship I've ever experienced.
And he says the same. I am 36, dating a 59yo man. I cared deeply for him but he doesn't want to get married again or have anymore children since his are all grown. I think it is wrong for a 50 year old man past his prime to marry a 20 something girl who has barely started out in life. This is obviously about money and control for the girl most of the time anyways. That to me is weird. I am 46, and there is no way I would someone in their 20's. I am 20 , dating a man 18 years my senior. I really love him and he makes me very happy. The daddy issue is true to some extent, I feel protected and safe around him.
The main issue at hand is convincing him that I am totally comfortable with the age gap. We plan on moving to Asia soon but I am still fond of Africa how do I convince him to stay in Africa? What many people won't tell you is that even if a man is in good physical shape, after 50, many men loose their libido since their testosterone levels drop drastically.
It's the same for women after menapause. With some maturity comes some real-life experiences. You go through ups and downs and you learn to navigate through various obstacles to move forward. Dating someone older means they can provide you with some insights and different perspectives when you encounter something which can seem insurmountable. It can save you time and needless energy overthinking a problem and more importantly help you move forward quicker.
Being with an older man can be a good balance for you especially in a world where things move at a hyper pace. With maturity comes a greater appreciation for the little things in life and being with someone mature can help you learn to slow down, relax, and recalibrate. There might be a need to outdo one another when you are closer in age and achievements. When someone is older and because they are more established, they may not have the same need to compete with you.
This age dynamic can dial back the immaturity of poor communication and ego-busting that can happen with someone that is closer to your age. In fact, they may become your biggest cheerleader pushing you to levels you may not have felt you could accomplish. They had a life before you. It can include past marriage s , relationships, kids, grandkids, etc. Navigating this in your relationship with an older man can take some patience on your part. You will also need to have clear parameters and communication with one another of what to expect for one another as far as their relationships with ex-wives, kids, etc.
It can provide you with clarity on his intentions, his relationship patterns, and help you determine if he is the right fit for you. The past is generally a strong indicator of future behavior. He might be set in his ways. The older you get, with the comfort of knowing thyself, comes a comfort of doing things a certain way. When a man has had a level of success and is happy with the way he is, trying to break habits that might annoy you or introduce him to things outside of his comfort zone may not be so easy.
In a relationship where you mix someone a relationship of someone who is younger with someone older, if you are truly compatible, you can both learn and teach one another valuable lessons. He is more stable. But, generally, if you are dating someone older, they should be more stable. They should have some level of consistency in their life as they should have been able to create a more solid foundation in their life.
This stability can be soothing versus dating someone who is still trying to figure out who they are, what they need to accomplish, and where they are heading.
Related my experience dating an older man
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